Our Journey Continues....

Matthew 11: 28-30
     "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. "  


The best way to face a challenge is head on. I am making this blog of our journey mainly for me. I think it is a coping skill that I  need. Writing things down is a great way to express things that I am feeling and working my way through this journey.
     This isn't our 'first rodeo'. It is our third cancer episode for my husband. The first one started about five years ago, prostrate cancer, then three years ago cancer was found in his back and bone marrow. He complete radiation at that time and things had seemed to be well until this past September. He thought he was having kidney pain. He made an appointment with a kidney specialist but as it goes for a new patient, the appointment was three weeks off. He decided to go in and see his oncologist, Dr. Te. Blood work was done and it was discovered that the myeloma had returned. And the adventure began again.
      Radiation, chemo shots, chemo pills, trips to Houston to MD Anderson Cancer institute for second opinion, x-rays, bone biopsy, multiple blood tests, CAT scans, MRI's, a trip to Salt Lake City to the Huntsman Cancer Institute and the poking and prodding continues. While at Huntsman, it was discovered that he had A-fib in the upper chambers of his heart. That needed to be repaired before we started our stem cell journey at Huntsman.  The Monday before Christmas, Dec 18th, Gus had two procedures that required sedation, another bone biopsy of the hip and a test call TEE to look at the area surrounding his heart before the ablation on the heart was performed. He also had another CAT scan done that day too. I should mention also that a week before all this was scheduled, he though he had a relapse of the cancer in his rib. The pain was so terrible he thought he had broken a rib. He had hooked himself up to our TENS unit to help relieve the pain. The day after this hook up, he broke out in a horrible rash. We ended up going back into Dr Te to see about the rib and when Gus pulled up his shirt, Dr Te's eyes got as big as saucers and he said 'you have shingles'. We just moaned. Of course, we had heard about shingles. It is advertised on TV often. It is also a side effect of the chemo shots. Well, Gus had it. Nothing is more painful. Shingles is the same virus as chicken pox. It is a nerve virus and has proven to be very, very painful.
     On Dec 19th, Gus had the heart ablation done and was in the hospital over night. That procedure seemed to be successful and he was cleared to continue our journey to Huntsman.
     We enjoyed the Christmas holiday very quietly. We were able to Skype with our son, Matthew, who is currently serving a mission in Brazil. That was a wonderful visit. We didn't talk a lot about Gus' upcoming medical challenges. There isn't anything Matthew can do and the more he knows, the more he would worry. That is his nature. We felt that Matthew seeing his dad on skype would be reassuring enough for him. When I started to tell him a little bit, Matthew responded with 'mom, I don't want to know'. There really is wisdom in that because he needs to keep his focus on his work and not his dad. The visit was enough to bring Matthew the needed peace.
     This narration brings me to date. Today is Dec. 30, 2017. This year is about to end. Our new year will begin another chapter in our journey.
     We leave on Monday, Jan. 1st to travel to the Huntsman Cancer Institute. We will be gone for two weeks. This trip is for the purpose to have a 'stem cell harvest'. Gus will have a port placed in his chest and on a daily basis, or until they have harvested enough, he will have stem cells pulled from his blood. We will return after the two weeks and he will rest for ten day. We then will return to Huntsman on Jan 22 and will stay until Feb. 24th. During this month long visit, he will have the stem cells replaced. It sounds simple enough but actually the procedure is close to death.
     I hope to be able to express the experience and feelings of all this. I hope as I am able to dig deep into my feelings that I can be strong for Gus and that, together, we make it through this chapter of our lives.
     I just went back to the top of this entry and entered a scripture that I ran across yesterday. It had been on my mind but I decided to look it upon and 'ponderize' it.
     I just happened to turn on a BYU devotional yesterday by Sterling Hilton. These are some words from his talk. I had to copy it because I think the timing is SO applicable right now in our lives.
Quoting him, " I find great meaning in the word yoke. It evokes so many important things about Christ’s path. A yoke is a wooden bar or frame by which two draft animals are joined at the neck for the purpose of working together to pull a heavy load. A yoke is also a frame fitted to a person’s shoulders to carry a load in two equal portions. Whether we envision a double or a single yoke, the Savior is part of this image. We are either teamed with Him, side by side, or we are carrying His yoke. Yokes imply burdens or heavy loads; thus by taking His yoke upon us we are also taking upon us the load to which it is attached. .....Purposes of Tribulation Well, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but tribulation and suffering are part of
the path of discipleship. Of course you have already figured this out. Prosperity and joy are also part of the path to balance the tribulation and suffering. Now, I am not suggesting that prosperity and joy and tribulation and suffering come in equal proportions. My experience suggests that the former far outweigh the latter; however, tribulation and suffering are part of the path. How we respond to our life conditions, whether in prosperity or tribulation, is what matters in mortality. Remember that life on earth is a proving ground, a trial. Our pattern of choices determines the degree of promised glory that we are willing to receive from our loving Father. Christ’s path teaches us how to receive all of our heavenly parents’ glory by teaching us how to be obedient in all things They command us to do here. Here is what I have learned so far from my periods of tribulation and suffering. I have learned these things as I have learned to willingly submit my will to the Father’s. When I have chosen to harden my heart, my tribulation hasn’t sanctified me. For me, learning to submit in all things is a process. I am learning line upon line, precept upon precept, which is why tribulation ebbs and flows throughout our lives. I have learned three things I would like to share: 1. Experiencing tribulation reveals remnants of the natural man within me, and submitting my will cleanses and refines my soul of these remnants. 2. Experiencing tribulation reveals an essential dimension of God’s burden of light, truth, and love, and submitting my will expands my capacity to receive the gifts of faith, hope, and charity. 3. Experiencing tribulation is a necessary condition under which we must prove ourselves faithful and obedient to God’s will. We must prove ourselves in all things in order to receive all our heavenly parents’ glory.......Stay the Course The purpose of our tribulation is not to experience crushing, hopeless despair. The fruit of our suffering can be a bright hope. Remaining steadfast in Christ through our afflictions and adversity increases our capacity to see our promised end more clearly. Like a powerful spotlight that shines more brightly in complete darkness, our suffering reveals Christ to us. We see His promise of salvation, resurrection, and eternal life more clearly in our mind’s eye, and we look forward with a bright hope to that perfect day, seeing it afar off but knowing that it lies ahead (see Hebrews 11:13)....... And what about you? What will you do when you experience tribulation? If it is tribulation that comes from putting off Christ’s yoke and leaving His path, then I encourage you to repent and return. But what if it is tribulation you experience along Christ’s path? What will you do when you come to your Gethsemane? For Gethsemane moments are bound to come to those who take Christ’s yoke upon them and follow His path of discipleship.

I encourage you to choose a battle cry of commitment. There are many to choose from: Choose you this day whom ye will serve; . . . but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. [Joshua 24:15] Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward. [Hebrews 10:35] Shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, . . . and on, on to the victory! [D&C 128:22] Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. [Proverbs 3:5–6]
 I testify that if we will repent, our chastenings will cleanse our souls of sin. If we submit with meekness to God’s will, our afflictions will refine us and expand our capacity to receive and carry more light and truth and love. So stay the course! I encourage you not as a bystander on the sidelines watching you run, nor as a finisher who has completed the race, but as a fellow runner who is running the race with you. Remember this promise from the Lord as you experience tribulation and suffering; it applies to all who submit to God’s will: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. [Isaiah 40:31] (finished quoting) Talk from speeches.byu.edu October 2015. "His burden is Light'.

       If I can find a way to attach the whole talk I will. It will be for my benefit to be able to reread this in the coming weeks.
     Welcome to our journey.......hands inside the ride ( I mean folded in prayer) and hold on......