Driving in the car today, heading toward the pharmacy to pick up yet ANOTHER prescription for Gus, this song came on my CD player. I had to keep hitting the replay button. I listened to it all the way to Walgreen's and back home again. I think I needed to hear this today.....
Softly and tenderly, Jesus is calling.......
This has been another crazy week. Tomorrow, March 17th, St. Paddy's day to some, will be our Day Plus 50!!!!. Gus will be 50.... ( ok, of course his immune system will be.) 50 DAYS old. We are half way to the goal day 100.
THE day.. Half way to the mark of when he can do certain things again without so much precaution, like play in the dirt, aka gardening, swim in the pool, eat deli sliced meats, not have to wear his mask ( even though half the time he forgets to wear it now), nuzzle the dogs, stay in the room when I vacuum, and the list goes on.
So, you are probably asking "Well, how is Gus doing now?". He has gained TEN very needed pounds. He is eating better and still struggling with getting enough fluids in him. He has been coughing a lot lately, so we went to the Doctor today for a culture. It came back POSITIVE for Influenza B. Google tells us that "influenza B is less common than A but still causes outbreaks of seasonal flu. The doctor has started him on Tamiflu, which doesn't cure the virus but will cut down on the length of the illness time. He has already taken his first dose. Guess I will get out the Lysol wipes again. And the spray. And the....etc. .well, you get the idea.
Adam and I have seen a change in Gus' personality since this stem cell treatment. I try to tell Gus about it and it makes him very angry at us. He doesn't act out in front of other people but I see him lashing out at Adam and me more frequently. He still is forgetting where he puts the keys, or his shoes, or his wallet, or many other items. I understand that it is frustrating to him. I am literally praying that I can find a way to cope with this behavior. He is demanding of my time.... get me this, get me that, go do this, etc. I know it is because he doesn't have the strength to do it all himself. Some days he tries, and then he is down for 2-3 days. On this past Tuesday, I went to help a friend all day. I came home and Gus and his friend had cleaned out all MY stuff from the garage. I just sat down and cried. It might have been junk to someone else, but I had new stuff in that area that they had just thrown out or taken to the DI (donated). I am still upset over it. Nothing of Gus' was gone that I could see. He told me he was doing it for me 'so I could park in the garage'. Hurrump......I am still parking in the driveway. And now I am looking for my bike cover (gone) and a new spring wreath to go on my front door, since my other new ones were thrown out. Arrgg...... It is probably just a mom thing.....oh well......
Anyway, this has been a stressful week all in all. On the bright spot, we have received some much needed rain in our desert area. Today it is still cloudy and hopefully, tonight or tomorrow we will get some more rain.
I understand the pressures on the caregiver of those that are ill. It is a balancing act to meet his needs and my own needs. I have cried more this week than any week yet. I think that is why when this song came on my CD today, I had to listen to it over and over and over.
I think it was a good reminder of where I need to place my burdens, and Who it is that will carry those burdens for me. And Who it is that will get me through these very changing life situations.
Softly and tenderly, Jesus is calling.... Calling for you and for me. Patiently Jesus is waiting and watching, watching for you and for me! Come home, come home! Ye who are weary, come home! Earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling. Calling O sinner, Come home. 2) Why should we tarry when Jesus is pleading---pleading for you and for me? Why should we linger and heed not His mercies...Mercies for you and for me? Come home! Come home! Ye who are weary, come home! Earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling. Calling, O sinner, come home!!
I KNOW where I need to turn for strength........
And our journey continues.........
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